the sanctuary:

every morning i wake up and think how i could be a better man. some mornings i list in my head all the things i should do, should think, how i should act. some mornings i try to drag myself up, up into this new man. and, of course, some mornings i think "are ya kidding? you don't improve on perfection!" because, well, i guess some mornings i just wake up without realising the dreams stop there.

what am i trying to say here? well, perhaps that i apologise if i'm not that better man. or perhaps i'm just letting the world know how great i am. or, you know, maybe i'm quite tired and should be in bed. hey! it's the bank holiday!

happy end of may! woo!
posted at 10:57 PM

'ello. Welcome to the... I think sixth version of the Sanctuary. You may now leave.



Hey! Come back!
posted at 5:58 PM

Because I can. Anything you'll read without a title is probably from wapblogger. Or, um, or I just forgot. Of course, I may just forget to put one in. Or I'll stop doing it. Well, yeah. We'll see. Bet you're glad you read this one. YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME!
posted at 2:28 PM

Spoilers, as you may expect, follow.

First thing to get out of the way; this surpasses the previous two movies to an almost embarrrassing extent. The imaginative, playful use of the production design from the earlier films exposes Columbus's pedestrian directing style like a lumos spell in a cupboard. Hagrid's hut, for example, now sits by a lake at the bottom of a set of vertiginous steps. Hogwarts nestles gloomily in its Glen, a brooding mystery far removed from the Disney castle of Philosopher's Stone. Everything and everywhere feels more magical, more unworldly while still being a convincing world on top of ours.

From the dynamic, punchy opening which gets Harry out of the clutches of the Dursleys for this installment (a mercy), it's obvious that Cuaron gets what makes the books fun. Not necessarily funny - I think I maybe laughed twice, and smiled a lot, but this isn't about the Rule of the Animal - but the zip and zing of the stories. Harry is barrelled along with the audience through an unfolding mystery which frequently threatens to be just too mysterious but is always pulled back by a handy bit of explanation (Steve Kloves just can't get enough of that exposition, it's just a mercy the script editor had had at it this time).

Bigger spoilers

A shame most of us know the big twist, but Cuaron very nearly sidesteps this entirely by keeping Black as little more than a background figure and dispensing entirely of, say, the dormitory break-in. Still, the tension which may have been there is somewhat sacrificed.

Big spoilers end, continuing with regular spoilers. This has been a public service announcement.

So what are we left with? Well, character. And effects. But let's talk about character first.

Thankfully, the performances from the three teenage leads are light-years beyond the dreadful Chamber of Secrets and the merely poor Philosopher's Stone. Radcliffe has grown substantially as an actor and makes a capable lead, dealing with the dialogue like a human being rather than an actor-bot. Rupert Grint has all but given up the mugging and is.. well, not in it that much. However, the real star here is Emma Watson. Sure, there are moments when her performance is as mannered as it has been previously, but for the most part she is fabulous, and it almost feels like Hermione's role has been expanded to reflect this. So expanded, in fact, that one begins to suspect that the next movie will be "The Amazing Adventures of Hermione Granger and her Wizard Pals".

As ever, the adults are also very worthwhile. Except perhaps Emma Thompson, but that's more to do with Trelawney being a dreadful character than her Edina impression. Michael Gambon brings an interesting if insubstantial Dumbledore to the table, while Alan Rickman and Maggie Smith are more or less sidelined but still good value whenever they do make an appearance. It's with Gary Oldman and David Thelwis that the most astute casting has been done, however. Oldman gives Black the soulful depth needed to give the character credibility. Thelwis - who I thought was a disastrous bit of casting when I first heard it - turns in the best adult performance; in his hands Professor Remus is the engaging, charming figure of the books, winning me over completely. His scenes with Harry are character high-spots, and who cares that he's not as good looking as he should be..?

Which leaves, I think, the effects. I wanted to give special mention to these, because they're a cut above. The magical light in the movie is just beautiful to look at - which is good, because Potter is much darker this time out. The dark greys and slate blues require relief, and the golden shimmer of the Patronus charm or the vivid illumination of wand-lights are eye-bathingly gorgeous. They are also used in such a seamless way within the world that it's unquestionably clear that this shit is magic, just as the tiny touches (Remus packing his stuff with a resigned air of magical familiarity, the spiffy Knight Bus hurtling through an oblivious London) are thrown away as simply part of the world.

Magical creatures this time have been really cared for, too. Buckbeak - always a dodgy prospect - has turned out well. Not perfect, but the characterisation shines through the odd dodgy movement (I'm being super-picky here, the Hippogriff looks great). The werewolf transformation is among the best you'll see on screen, right up there with American Werewolf and The Howling, even if the end result looks a bit.. well, it looks a bit like a wolfy Gollum.

Basically, it's like the first two were just showreels. This time out, someone actually picked up the material and made a movie from it. Potter fans, your prayers have been answered.
posted at 10:42 PM

Yes, yes, I've seen the Prisoner of Azkaban, who wants to touch me?
I said who wants to fucking touch me?
posted at 8:16 PM

Potter tonight. Very excited. I couldn't tell if I was getting goosepimples on the bus from Azkaban-induced excitment, or if I just got an odd blast of cold air from one of the paltry windows.

Certainly more excited about it than van Helsing, which was big and dumb and you know. I was pretty jazzed about Troy, and that was gooood, but this. This, ahh, this is my FotR...
posted at 12:27 PM

My Bloginality is INFP

A world says "well, duh".
posted at 12:41 PM

Yesterday I was offered a ticket for Prisoner of Azkaban. This Friday.

I thought about it for approximately two nanoseconds.

I'll try to post about it here when I get back, but don't expect it to be much more that "Who wants to touch me?"
posted at 3:44 PM

Okay, so I just read a post on here from last June, saying I had hayfever after months of thinking I would escape. Damn, that means I won't escape.

Yes, I know what time it is. Am off to bed right now.
posted at 12:31 AM

Haha...!

Now it is fixed good and proper, yes Mikey Michaelson? Uh-huh. According to The Man They Call Aquarion, it was - duh - my fault. There was an open h1 tag which I just plum forgot to close. I was wondering why all the other text looked all hugebigmassive.

Now I think this text size is something we can all enjoy. And Mike will be pleased to hear that I'm working on a restyle.
posted at 10:52 PM

Well, all right, Mister Mike, I have rejigged the formatting slightly to compensate for the new commentary system. I only listen to you because you're my genial host, you know.

In other news, flppy has a new computer (as well as, temporarily, a new url), which - in defiance of common sense - came with no modem. I know! Who are they selling these things to? Cave people? So we wents out and boughts a new one for, frankly, chump change. And I opened up the tiny tiny case, goggled at the lack of space to move, took out the video card, put the new modem in, put the video card back, closed it all up again and now the computer is just looking at us with a "modem? What is that? I've never heard of modems"...

Yep, I'm back where I was soooo long ago, with a computer failing to recognise its hardware. And I don't remember how that problem got sorted out. And gah. Gah, you hear me?
posted at 7:58 AM

I'm tired.
posted at 5:55 PM

I'm thinking very seriously about starting a business. It needs a damn good website, a couple of geeks and a vehicle. Oh, and someone who can talk to businesses. It's a winner, I tells ya.
posted at 11:40 AM

I think if the only other bus numbers which stop at the stand have gone past and there's still a load of people waiting, you should take the hint and get in the goddamn queue.
posted at 4:32 PM

Hmm. Blogger is now offering comments. Hopefully, this post will have them available. Not sure how they work. Shall we see?
posted at 12:00 PM

According to the Evening Standard, Troy is the latest Hollywood blockbuster to - oh, my sides - rewrite history.

Uh-Huh. You read me right. Rewriting history. That great historical work of nonfiction The Iliad.

OFFS!
posted at 7:19 PM

Well, I'm loving Blogger's new cuddly look, if nothing else.

Plus, they've given me gmail! Hurrah for Blogger. Gmail kicks ass.

Okay, so just got off the phone to Lloyds. I now know how much I owe everyone, and that means? I can deal with things. I'm getting a call tomorrow from a debt management agency, which will hopefully start me on the road to freedom! Or at least the road to paying people off and not bloody well worrying about it every ten seconds. Turns out bankruptcy and even IVAs are for big-assed debts, and my puny less-than-£10,000 blackmark is small change. They are sure, they told me, that they can help.

One can but hope.

On the plus money side, we won the film quiz on Tuesday, and got the cash, something no-one has managed since - get this- November. It had rolled over into a tidy sum. £475 between 5 people? That'll be £95 each, then. Oh, the high life for me. Breakfast! New trousers! A new book!

Flapjack has now ordered her new computer, so that's going to be all shiny and new and oooh look at the shine. Mu-huh. I'm hoping to pick up a copy of Final Draft somewhere in the world...

You know, there's something else but I can't think of it right now. Maybe that was all. No. Argh. I hate blogging. I love blogging. Damn you, Blogger!
posted at 12:19 PM

This is cut 'n' paste from FU, so apologies if you've already read it.

Van Helsing. Spoilers follow.

This could've been really, really bad. Supernaturally poor. Happily, it isn't.

I was pretty certain I was going to love it from the moment the Universal globe went black and white and a mob of scythe-n-torch wielding villagers stormed up to a castle. Then when the castle's occupants turned out to be Dr Frankenstein, his Monster, Igor and Dracula... how could you not love it? "Look, he's heading for the windmill!" - well, where else do monsters in peril go?

This bravura homage to Universal movies past is immediately followed with a more straightforward "Hugh fights a big CGI monster" heroic establishing scene. Though the monster is a cocky, incomprehensibly Glaswegian Mr Hyde and it takes place atop Notre Dame, it's not really the funnest thing ever. And this sets the tone. Van Helsing is best described as patchy. You're unlikely to be bored (except perhaps during the execerable scene between Dracula and his Brides, which consists of nothing but shouting and screaming in Comedy Accents), but there are few genuinely thrilling moments, Sommers instead going for "solidly entertaining".

Plot-wise, it's actually pretty damn tight. Each element has clearly been thought out well, everybody has their purpose and some strands are carried through with a courage not usually found in yer average summer blockbuster HUGE SPOILERS FROM NOW, FOR GOD'S SAKE, LOOK AWAY UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THE FILM, THEN COME ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT THEM For example, it was an interesting twist to have Van Helsing bitten by the werewolf. It genuinely imperilled the hero, and was disappointing when the "cure" was revealed. Should it go to a franchise, how interesting would it be if Van Helsing was a werewolf? Oh, well. At least they had the balls to whack Kate - something I honestly didn't see coming. HUGE SPOILERS END

Performances were variable. Support was fun, from Shuler Hensley's great turn as the Monster (sympathetic, arrogant, angry - what more you you want from the Monster?) and Kevin J O'Connor's sadistic Igor to the hysterical (not in the funny sense) Brides of Dracula. I was disappointed that the brunette wasn't offed earlier, though, as she really got on my nerves. The leads were, well, leads in a blockbuster. Hugh is always watchable, Kate is all Comedy Accent and corset and Richard Roxburgh varies wildly between ridiculous and slightly less ridiculous. His "standing on walls/ceilings/whatever" schtick is great, though. David Wenham's Q-ish monk is by turns excruciating and a joy - I think you need to get used to him, really.

Um. So, yeah. It's not going to rock your world, but you're also not going to feel cheated out of a ticket. A success, I'd say. And not a flop. So ha.
posted at 2:18 PM

Standing in line? That's for chumps. Soon we will be waltzing into van Helsing... Will it be rubbish? Will it be good? You'll have to wait and see. Personally, I hope it's chips.
posted at 7:13 PM